What Should I Give My Family for Christmas

Within: Recapture the magic of the holidays by giving just 4 gifts for Christmas! Here are the "gotchas" to avert plus the best "desire need wear read" gift ideas.

Ane Christmas when my oldest was a preschooler, something shifted compared to previous holiday seasons. Instead of getting a couple beautiful onesies and lath books as gifts from loved ones, she got piles and piles of presents.

Grandparents on both sides sent gifts. Extended relatives. Family friends.

Not to mention the gifts we'd gotten her ourselves.

That Christmas morn, it took forever for Abby to get through opening all the toys and gadgets and gifts. Then about 5 presents in, the light went out in her eyes.

She would carefully undo the tape on the wrapping, open the box, pull out the gift, and set it on the teetering stack adjacent to her. Then she'd look up with a small smile, say "thank y'all," and move onto the next gift.

She could no longer get excited because she was absolutely overwhelmed.

Bonus: Every bit a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, get this costless printable 4-gift wish listing and fill up it out with your child. You'll aid them focus on what truly matters this vacation flavor and foster some powerful conversation about wants versus needs.

We Had to Make a Change

That nighttime lying next to each other in bed, my husband and I talked about how Abby became almost robot-similar when she hit that bespeak of overwhelm.

That's non what we wanted our holiday season to be most – overloading our child with gifts until she has to shut down merely to cope with the backlog of stuff. Plus, we wanted to try to have some other babe 1 twenty-four hour period, then we knew that sort of gift-giving gratuitous-for-all wouldn't exist sustainable every bit our family grew.

That night, I Googled "how to go on Christmas from getting out of control" and stumbled on the tradition of giving 4 gifts for Christmas – a simple guideline that's supposed to help yous go along the holiday season focused on what really matters. With the iv-gift dominion, each person gets just four gifts for Christmas:

1. Something you want,
2. Something you need,
3. Something to wearable, and
4. Something to read.

Not just a catchy fiddling rhyme, the four-souvenir rule for Christmas promises to assist keep your holiday flavour from devolving into a materialistic frenzy of more, more than, more and helps you stick to a reasonable budget.

But more important than that, many parents report that giving just four gifts for Christmas can help yous raise kids who appreciate what they have instead of following in Dudley Dursley's footsteps and throwing a temper tantrum when they end up with 36 presents instead of last twelvemonth's 37.

This Is What Giving four Gifts for Christmas Really Looks Similar

Nosotros were excited to kickoff the "want need wear read" tradition, but we had to wait a whole year. Starting in July, we were already thinking ahead to what special gifts would brand the cut with the four-souvenir dominion.

But by the fourth dimension Nov hit, I started feeling a picayune panicky. By shifting so abruptly from the excessive haul of gifts terminal year to just four things for Christmas this yr, would we ruin the magic of Christmas for Abby?

My hubby and I were relieved to take the four-gift dominion to rein ourselves in when it came to buying gifts for each other considering we tended to go overboard with each other, also. Merely we couldn't milk shake our worries about what the 4-present rule would do to our daughter's feel on Christmas morning.

Later lots of debate and second-guessing ourselves, this is what we ultimately decided on for her four gifts for Christmas that year:

• What Abby wanted nigh of all was an American Daughter doll, then that was her "something y'all want."
• A big package of colorful socks for her growing piffling anxiety was her "something you need."
• For "something to wear," a pretty new dress.
• And for "something to read," a fix of classic Beverly Cleary paperbacks^†.

^† This site is reader-supported. When you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission.

Nosotros didn't completely get the grandparents and extended family unit bought into the 4-present tradition, but they did tone it style down compared to the previous year. Their gifts tended to exist mostly books and clothes instead of plastic toys that would end upwards collecting dust on a shelf inside a week.

Related: This Is the Best Way to Politely Asking No Christmas Gifts This Year

So…Did We Ruin Christmas Morning?

That was Abby's terminal Christmas equally an only child, and the three of united states of america stayed in our jammies that morning time while opening presents. Her pile of presents was easily a fourth of the size of the previous year's massive pile.

My husband and I sat on the floor next to her, sipping our java. Because we didn't take a huge stack of presents to get through ourselves, we could afford to pause with her after each gift to appreciate what it was and who it came from.

And the light never went out of her eyes.

She didn't hit that bespeak of overwhelm. She didn't plow into a robot going through the motions of opening presents. She stayed in the moment with us, enjoying the delight of a few thoughtful surprises.

Ever since that holiday season, we've stuck with the four-souvenir rule, and information technology's been a game-changer for taming the excess of the holiday season.

Nosotros specially dear how the "desire demand article of clothing read" tradition brings a sense of intention to our souvenir-giving. Considering when you're giving just 4 gifts for Christmas, they end up beingness incredibly thoughtful gifts – not random gadgets or trinkets you get just to go something, even though you lot know they'll soon end upward shoved in a cupboard or somewhere else out of sight, forgotten and collecting dust.

All this to say: Our new tradition of giving each other merely 4 gifts for Christmas didn't ruin our Christmas. Information technology saved our Christmas.

But What Almost…?

As with whatsoever family tradition, you'll have to make the 4-souvenir rule your own so information technology feels right to you and your family. But hither are some common "gotchas" with shifting to giving 4 gifts for Christmas and suggestions for how you can avert them.

To be clear, I'thousand certainly not the be-all-cease-all expert on this topic. Just I have picked the brains of every family I know who's started giving just 4 gifts for Christmas. Below, you'll find the culmination of tips and tricks from many, many families who've adopted the four-gift rule. For instance:

• Exercise y'all follow the 4-gift dominion for stockings, too?
• How practice you handle it when your kids expect more than than 4 gifts for Christmas?
• What about gifts from siblings to one another?
• How tin can you go grandparents and extended family on board with limiting gifts?
• How do you handle Santa gifts?

After that, you'll notice a list of the best "want demand clothing read" gift ideas. Enjoy!

Do you lot follow the 4-gift rule for stockings, too?

Just similar with likewise many gifts nether the tree, an overflowing stocking tin be overwhelming for kids, too. Instead of filling your kids' stockings with small plasticky junk that will finish up cleaved or lost inside a few days, consider going for quality over quantity.

A few ideas for how to get a fun (just less overwhelming) mix of stocking stuffers:

• Replace several "stuff" gifts with 1 or two of these small merely meaningful gifts that brand the perfect stocking stuffers for kids. One of our kids' favorite stocking stuffers were these family unit conversation starters. We notwithstanding use those chat starters every night to reconnect as a family, and the answers we get from our kids are pure aureate!

• Make a special care for, similar your child's favorite kind of cookie or a chocolate goody. Or if yous're not corking in the kitchen, pick upward a special gear up-made care for like a chocolate bar from the fancy chocolate section of the grocery store. One high-quality treat can teach little ones to savor what they have instead of a whole bag of junky treats that they inhale without actually appreciating.
• Add together a bill of fare game that will be fun for the whole family to play. You lot tin bank check my listing of the best lath games and carte games for all ages for ideas, but to salve you lot time I'll list our favorite card games hither real quick: Sleeping Queens, Sushi Go!, Rat-a-Tat Cat, Create a Story, and Spot It!. Besides, Travel Qwirkle isn't a carte du jour game, simply information technology'southward oodles of fun and small enough to fit into a stocking!

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Sleeping Queens

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"My daughter and I love Sleeping Queens! It teaches them math without them fifty-fifty realizing it – or me, for that affair. I recollect my daughter laid down a sequence that was like one + three + 5 = 9, and I idea 'How did you know that…?' Then I realized she just figured information technology out from doing math in the game. So cool to scout her larn right before my eyes." – Ann

Related: Forget the Typical Stocking Stuffers. Here Are x Small But Meaningful Gifts for Kids.

How do you handle it when your kids look more than 4 gifts for Christmas?

If your kids are young, they likely won't even observe the shift to iv gifts for Christmas. Our daughter was nigh five when nosotros fabricated the change, and she didn't think annihilation of it.

Some kids end upward loving the smallest, least expensive gift near of all anyhow. Non to mention that toddlers and preschoolers tend to be happiest playing with the cardboard boxes the gifts came in!

Just if your kids are older and tend to be concerned with how many gifts they get each year, yous may want to go them on lath upfront to head off any hint of thwarting on Christmas morning. If your kids are sometime enough to retrieve how many gifts they got final twelvemonth and to await the aforementioned or more this year, they're former enough for a frank word virtually souvenir giving and what's most important during the vacation flavour.

You tin can practise this in a few different ways, depending on what will resonate best with your kiddos:

• Reminisce together – One night at dinner, showtime a conversation about gifts and the ones that stick with you. For example, you tin can endeavour request, "What's your favorite souvenir yous've ever received? Something you lot even so think, fifty-fifty if information technology was a while ago?" Go alee and share your answer, as well. You may notice that everyone'south favorite gifts were the kind that give you treasured memories, not gifts that come from a store. That can open the door to a discussion about how you lot tin can give each other that kind of gift this vacation season instead of just a bunch of stuff that will be forgotten.
• Give them a college purpose – Equally a family unit, read a children'due south book about how some people may not have all the same things your family has. One picture book that made a huge impact on my kids was A Chair for My Mother. In my preschooler's words: "I liked it when the whole town helped the family." For tweens and teens, yous tin spotter a documentary with them similar Living On One Dollar. And so you can offset a discussion virtually how some others may not have enough food for their families, or a home to keep them warm, or shoes that fit their feet. You might effort request your kids something like, "This Christmas, how could we help people who need food and dress?" If they don't take the bait, you lot tin go ahead and plant the seed: "Could nosotros save some money that we usually spend on gifts for ourselves to help others who need information technology more than nosotros do?"
• Exist upfront – If what led you to the iv-gift rule is the hope of keeping your holiday budget under control, go ahead and let your kids know. Information technology's good for kids to understand that adults have to brand choices about how to spend money, and they're not always easy choices – because they'll accept to brand those choices one day, besides. Just be careful non to stress your kids out with adult-level money concerns. For example, yous might say, "Typically, we spend a lot of money on Christmas gifts, but that means when we want or demand something next year, nosotros may not accept the money for it. And so this year, we're going to focus on giving a few awesome gifts instead of lots of just okay gifts." If your kids aren't familiar with the phrase "quality over quantity" yet, now would be a good time to introduce that concept.

Yous can as well share a want need wear read Christmas list printable with your kids instead of asking them to write a typical gratuitous-for-all wish list. At the end of this post, you tin get a free want need wear read Christmas printable that you tin can print and share with your kids.

Get Your Copy: Costless Printable iv-Gift Wish List for Kids

What about gifts from siblings to i some other?

Encouraging siblings to think of others is a good thing, but giving one gift to each other should be plenty to help kids learn the fine art of gift giving. Our favorite way to go our kids excited near giving gifts to each other is the Sibling Super Secret Spy Shopping Trip.

Still, if you have more than two kids, every child getting a gift for every sibling can apace add together upwardly. In that case, y'all can have the kids draw names from a chapeau, Secret Santa style.

How can you lot go grandparents and extended family unit on board with limiting gifts?

This is a common issue for many families, so I put together a list of all the all-time ideas for how to politely request no Christmas gifts or fewer gifts. Because we all know simply saying "no Christmas gifts delight" won't cut it.

How practise y'all handle Santa gifts?

Total disclosure: In my family, we don't do Santa gifts. Merely here are a few ideas I heard from other families who do incorporate Santa into their holiday traditions:

• Follow the four-souvenir dominion for gifts from yous to your kids, then give one special "Santa souvenir." If your kids are used to more than gifts than that, y'all tin can explain that Santa's sleigh is simply so big, and he has millions of children to visit every Christmas Eve, so he can fit simply 1 gift per child. Watching a movie similar The Polar Express can help reinforce this "one gift from Santa" bulletin.
• Explain that every twelvemonth, more and more kids are existence born, and Santa is having problem plumbing equipment bigger gifts in his sleigh. This year, he's switching to filling stockings instead of leaving gifts under the tree.
• Make Santa's gift an experience gift for the whole family unit. For example, Santa could gift your whole family a flick night in a box, a monthly subscription box, or everything you need for a family unit camping trip including south'mores fixin's (even if it'south only in your own backyard or living room!). Our favorite subscription box for kids is from Kiwi Crates. These monthly hands-on projects are perfect for curious kids, kids who beloved science, creative kids, kids who love to tinker, and more…in other words, every kid. We received this every bit a gift last year, and my kids run to the mailbox on the twenty-four hours it's due to get in every month. To become 30% off your starting time Kiwi Crate subscription box, click here and use the coupon code SHARE30.

To become xxx% off your get-go Kiwi Crate subscription box, click here and use the coupon code SHARE30

For more fun experience gift ideas, cheque out The Ultimate (Nigh Epic!) List of the Best Experience Gift Ideas.

28 Best "Want Need Wearable Read" Souvenir Ideas for Kids

The first year we sat downwards to effigy out 4 gifts for Christmas for everyone in our immediate family, we drew a blank on a couple of the categories.

In a free-for-all souvenir giving situation, it doesn't matter if some gifts are duds because you have tons of other gifts to option up the slack. Merely when yous start the 4-gift tradition with your family, you may notice yourself wanting to make sure each souvenir is stellar. If your kid is getting just four gifts for Christmas, there's no room for duds.

Because it tin can be a trivial more challenging to find the perfect gift to fit into each "want need wear read" category, here are a few "desire need clothing read" souvenir ideas for y'all.

Something You Want

For "something y'all want," it's your hazard to give your child the one thing y'all know volition make their trivial face light upward. This may be the easiest category to tackle because a lot of kids have one wish list item they've been talking about for weeks (or months), whether that's a toy, electronics, or a brand new art set to replace a hodge-podge mess of cleaved crayons and stale-out markers.

On the other hand, some kids – specially younger kids – may change what's at the top of their wish list on a daily footing. In that situation, you know your kid best and what will please her. In our family unit, we endeavour to go with a souvenir idea our preschooler has mentioned a few times rather than a gift idea she first heard about the week earlier Christmas.

But if your child doesn't have a clear "want," cheque out this huge listing of The Most Meaningful Gifts for Kids Who Accept Everything. To relieve you some time, here are the top 3 most pop souvenir ideas from that listing:

• Make a date once a calendar month. Virtually kids desire nothing more than i-on-i time with the of import people in their lives, so gift them a yr of monthly "dates" of special one-on-one time with you.
  How to Wrap It: Take hold of 12 colorful envelopes similar these, label them with the months, and insert a card or brochure near each special day. Activities could include going out for ice cream, bowling, seeing a film together, or annihilation else the kid would enjoy doing with you. To salve time, you can sideslip one of our pop Family Connection Cards into the envelope. For more ideas, bank check out this mom'south story of how she put this gift together.
• Take them somewhere super fun. Get tickets to your child'southward favorite local amusement park, theme park, or water park – or make plans for another actress special outing similar a bouncy business firm centre, indoor stone climbing gym, trampoline park, bowling alley, miniature golf form, skating rink, or any other place they'd love to get. Your child volition become the gift of an awesome day when you accept them on this special outing, plus they'll build memories that will stick with them for a long time.
  How to Wrap It: Impress a photo of where you're taking them (or a promotional flyer would piece of work too) and wrap that.
• Send a monthly box of fun. You tin find a monthly subscription box for just about anything nowadays, from art projects to science experiments. And even though you're technically gifting a subscription box to the kids, parents benefit also because you're helping keep the kids busy with a new projection one time a month! Our favorite subscription box always is from Kiwi Crates because the fun hands-on projects in their boxes are custom tailored to every age from newborns (yeah, really!) to teenagers and everything in between. We received this as a gift last yr, and my kids run to the mailbox on the day it's due to make it every calendar month. For more than subscription box ideas, check out The Almost Meaningful Gifts for Kids Who Accept Everything.
  How to Wrap It: Typically, yous can selection the engagement of the first box commitment and add a special note from you to the recipient inside the box to permit them know to await a new box every month.

To get 30% off your start Kiwi Crate subscription box, click here and use the coupon code SHARE30

Something You Need

If your family is blest to be able to provide for your children's needs when they ingather upward instead of waiting for birthdays and holidays, this category may be a challenge.

Here are a few ideas of things kids tend to need:

• Shoes to replace ones that are worn out or too small
• A sturdy backpack to replace ane that's falling apart
• If they play sports: sports equipment or gear like a new soccer ball, volleyball, and then on
• A wheel helmet if they've outgrown their current helmet (same goes for knee and elbow pads)
• A wintertime glaze
• A sleeping handbag if they've outgrown the 1 they have
• A small-scale wheelie suitcase they can use for family vacations and sleepovers
• Underwear, socks, and/or belts (by the fashion, Solmate Socks are my kids' favorite because you can wear them mismatched!)
• A lunch box and/or reusable water bottle (we dear the Klean Kanteen water bottles for kids because they're all stainless steel and super durable)
• Pajamas
• A cute container to go along their toys organized (we dear the Stuff 'n Sit down, which looks similar just a regular edible bean bag but is actually a style to store stuffed animals, so you get a tidy room and an actress place to sit)
• An art caddy to organize all their art supplies (one of my kids loves making art, and so nosotros got her this portable craft organizer, and she was on cloud 9!)
• Sheets or other bedding if their electric current set is getting frayed or has holes in it
• A prissy annual planner or calendar to keep track of school deadlines and extracurricular commitments (my kids have always loved these Erin Condren planners designed just for kids)

Something to Wear

The obvious selection hither is clothing, merely here are a few creative gifts that too work in this category:

• Dress-upward clothes for pretend play (this prepare of superhero capes from a couple years agone is something all 3 of my girls all the same play with regularly – here's the version for male superheroes)
• A picket or an activeness tracker to help them go plenty practice every twenty-four hours (my oldest won't go anywhere without her Fitbit Ace for kids, and it motivates her to get at least 10,000 steps every day!)
• Perfume or cologne
• A purse or wallet (I know my kids love anything that makes them experience similar a grown-upwards!)
• Jewelry
• Noise-cancelling headphones so they can focus on schoolwork, especially if they have younger siblings

Something to Read

For kids who enjoy reading, this category is a no-brainer. The hard part may be picking simply ane volume to gift!

Because my oldest tends to devour fiction quickly and doesn't re-read it unless it's an all-time favorite similar Harry Potter, I effort to souvenir books she'll savor coming dorsum to again and again, like how-to guides or project-based books. (This year, I'chiliad considering getting her a copy of Tranquility Ability: The Secret Strengths of Introverted Kids, which she checked out from the library and loved.)

For my preschooler and toddler, I pay attention to which picture books we've checked out from the library and they ask to read again and over again, and so I'll get them a re-create of their very own so we can read that favorite to them someday they want.

Only if you have a child who doesn't relish reading, don't despair because here are a few creative ideas for the "something to read" category:

• Subscribe to a fun magazine. Kids love getting mail addressed merely to them, and they'll exist building their reading skills without even realizing it. Plus, most kids' magazines include activity and craft ideas for kids. And subsequently the kids are done reading, they tin laissez passer the magazine along to a friend. A few ideas for you: Highlights, Ranger Rick Jr, or anything in the Cricket magazine family like Ladybug for iii- to half-dozen-year-olds, Cricket for nine- to 14-yr-olds, and more.

• Wrap a book with pictures. For older kids who don't savour reading, remember that comic books and graphic novels totally count equally "something to read," too. Yous can't go wrong with Calvin and Hobbes , and these graphic novels are perfect for kids: the Amulet series, Real Friends, Ghosts, and Invisible Emmie.
• Give them a volume that transcends reading. Especially if the child doesn't enjoy reading, get them a book they can put to good use. These books give the child projects and activities they can exercise or brand, and they'll likely notice they practice beloved books subsequently all. Here are a few of our favorites:
  • Kitchen Science Lab for Kids: 52 Family Friendly Experiments from the Pantry – This isn't exactly a cookbook just more a collection of super fun science experiments yous can practise in the kitchen.
  • Out of the Box – Projects kids can make using old cardboard boxes. Recollect of all the empty paper-thin boxes on Christmas morning that they can reimagine into fun building projects! Nosotros recently got this for our preschooler, and she ATE It UP.
  • Rosie Revere's Big Project Book for Bold Engineers and Iggy Peck's Large Project Book for Amazing Architects and Ada Twist's Big Project Volume for Stellar Scientists – We've been drooling over these since they were first released, and we simply picked up the first 1 and plan to get the next two as well. If the child enjoyed the companion picture books Rosie Revere, Engineer and Iggy Peck, Builder and Ada Twist, Scientist, these activity books are the perfect fit.

• Share your childhood favorite. What was your favorite book as a kid? Get a re-create to share with the child, and write a special note on the inside encompass about why it's your favorite. That personal touch may be just the nudge they need to give it a go.

• Give them the best. We read a lot of kids' books in my house. A lot. We check out at least 20 new pic books a week, and my oldest polishes off a chapter book every other day. And here'southward what we've learned: Just because a kids' volume is on the Amazon bestseller list doesn't mean it's something kids will actually savour reading. Sometimes kids may not enjoy reading because they oasis't found the right book yet. Here are our top recommendations for each age range, canonical past kids and parents:
  • Board books – Bear Snores On, Good Nighttime Gorilla, and Everywhere Babies. For more than ideas, check out The Best Baby Board Books That Volition Please Your Baby (And You).
  • Moving-picture show books – Our Tree Named Steve, Plant a Kiss, and Strictly No Elephants. Check out The Ultimate List of the Best Movie Books, Endorsed past Kids And Parents for more than ideas.
  • Affiliate books – Because of Winn-Dixie, Harry Potter, The Penderwicks, The Underneath, and Wonder.
  • Young adult books – Graceling, A Great and Terrible Dazzler, Hunger Games, and Jellicoe Road.

Get Your Free Printable: A Wish List for Kids

To get my kids on board with the 4-gift rule for Christmas, I designed a printable wish list they could fill out.

This printable may seem uncomplicated, merely it's really fostered some of the best conversations nosotros've ever had with our children about "wants" versus "needs." Plus, when you tell your child they tin can put only one idea in each box, they get laser-focused virtually what they really want for Christmas instead of getting hung up on junky toys they'll lose involvement in after a few days. Parenting win!

1. Get the free checklist. Bring together my weekly-ish newsletter and as a bonus, you'll get the printable! Just click hither to become it and subscribe.
2. Impress one for each child. If the adults in your family will be joining in on the 4-gift rule (and why wouldn't they?!) go ahead and print a re-create for them, besides!
3. Explain the 4-gift rule to your child if you oasis't already. For tips on this stride, see the "How do you handle information technology when your kids expect more than iv gifts for Christmas?" section before in this mail.
4. Enquire your child to fill it out. The most fun is when you can spend a few minutes filling it out together and talking through each category, but your child can also fill it out independently and give it to you when she's done.

Hither'south a sneak peek of your 4-gift dominion wish list:

Before you get, get my Free cheat sheet: 75 Positive Phrases Every Child Needs to Hear

Your Plough

If you've made the shift to four gifts for Christmas, what tips would yous add together? Share in a comment below!

I'm a mom of four, a Certified Parent Educator, and the author of Happy You, Happy Family. I believe if you want a loving parent-kid relationship that volition concluding into the teenage years and across, the time for nurturing that kind of human relationship is at present. The skillful news? All you need is ten minutes a 24-hour interval. Start here »

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